Mr. Burns Goes to Worcester

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On December 29, 2010, Burns abandoned the comfort zone of downtown Boston and ventured westward so he could meet some girl from the internet who is "Not here for dating, just stalking a few friends and if I make a couple more in the process, awesome."


[08:01] < Burns > OK time to start my Worcester Adventure!
[08:37] < Burns > At the train station! Wow what a line.
[08:37] < Burns > She just texted asking if we're still on for today. Weird.
[08:39] < Freddo > Godspeed, little Burns .
[08:39] < Freddo > I hope you have enough provisions for the journey.
[08:45] < Burns > On the train now. I packed light but bought supplies at the station.
[08:45] < Burns > I seem to be the best-dressed man on this train. How exciting it will be to mingle with the lower classes!
[08:49] < Burns > There are these nice coat hooks on the train, which I've taken advantage of to hang my peacoat.
[08:50] < Burns > No one else has used them. One man threw his dirty, red, bulky coat on some shelf.
[08:51] < Burns > Couldn't find any Fiji water; sipping on Aquafina; hope I don't catch something!
[08:53] < Burns > After looking around, that dirty, red, bulky coat is the nicst on the train.
[08:53] < Burns > Back Bay! Oh how I'll miss you, Boston.
[08:54] < Burns > Wonder what I'll discover about myself on the trip.
[08:55] < Burns > The kindness of strangers? The selfishness of the common man? How to live cheaply?
[08:56] < Burns > Someone in here smells like cigarettes. Cigarettes! Like I've traveled back in time.
[08:58] < Burns > Back Bay: over. I'm briefly in a tunnel of sorts, reminding me of the T. But alas it is passed, just like
                  Otherside, Fenway, and the BU apartments.
[08:59] < Burns > An ad for lawyers, targeting this train. Wonder what rough group of people will need that!
[09:01] < Burns > A man just came by to collect tickets. They're like Charlie Tickets--thick plastic with a magnetic strip--but
                  he punched a hole in it then put it in his pocket.
[09:03] < Burns > Passing by a beautiful collection of freight cars, all with graffiti. Just people's ... how do they call it?
                  ... "tags", but well done art regardless.
[09:05] < Burns > Just passed the IHOP in Brighton. This is it; Boston is done. On to the subrubs then ... Worcester!
[09:11] < Burns > Look at this sprawl! The buildings are so short, but wide! This truly must be a land of excess wealth.
[09:11] < Burns > The houses are larger than the churches!
[09:13] < Burns > Much of the snow is still white and pure, perhaps never to be walked upon by a person.
[09:14] < Burns > Oh no we're stopped but not at a station! Terrorists? Robbers? Medical emergency?
[09:15] < Burns > Oh, a "signal up ahead". Wonder if that is code? Other people seem unphased but what do they know!
[09:17] < Burns > There are no seatbelts! Am I going to Auschwitz?!
[09:19] < Burns > I specifically asked for Worcester, not Auschwitz. "I'd like a ticket to Worcester, please," I said. "And none
                  of this Auschwitz funny business."
[09:22] < Burns > The track parallel to us is damaged! All trains are running on one train. How could it get so bad?
[09:22] < Burns > Er, one track.
[09:24] < Burns > The next stop is Wellesley Sq---I expect desperate college women to cheer us on as we pass.
[09:34] < Burns > I'm stuck in a wasteland!
[09:35] < Burns > The train has not moved in many minutes; could be years---was distracted by my phone and lost track of the
                  time.
[09:36] < Burns > It's gotten colder in here; may need to put my scarf and even my hat on.
[09:37] < Burns > No one around me has a scarf, or even a hat it seems. Mostly cotton sweatshirts with terrible screenprinting.
[09:38] < Burns > The gentleman across the aisle from me has a sweatshirt with a movie ad printed onto it.


[15:59] < Burns > I'm home now, BTW.
[15:59] < Burns > Would have live-blogged it but my phone died.

[15:59] < tdudley > burns: how was the adventure?
[16:00] < Burns > It was great! Nice girl.
[16:00] < Burns > Didn't bite.

[16:00] < chessie > did you HIT IT
[16:00]  chessie nudges
[16:00] < Burns > HELL YEAH I DID BRO
[16:00] < tdudley > HIGHFIVE!
[16:00]  chessie chest bumps burns
[16:01] < Burns > No we talked about freedom and equality for a couple of hours, then she suggested that she'll be in Brookline
                  on Tuesday.

[16:04] < Fred > Burns that sounds like a waste of a train ticket

It is important to note that Burns in his adventure stated "[09:05] < Burns > Just passed the IHOP in Brighton. This is it; Boston is done. On to the subrubs then ... Worcester!"" It turns out Boston isn't just between Tremont and Washington streets.