Man, I would not live with ...
From Whiteboard
Contents |
... My girlfriend
Because she:
- Won't put out when I wake up at 3am
- Complains about her period
- Women poop?! WHAT?
- Is equally needy and dismissive
... Fred Howland
Because he:
- Is home-schooled
- Is afraid to move out
- Will probably never do it
... Melissa Xie
Because she:
- Turns guys gay
... Ryan Chua
Because he:
- Pees in everyone's food.
- Keeps assuming that we are related
- Doesn't remember that time when Jared called him Brian at the Christmas party.
- Is literally the loudest man I know.
- Is moving somewhere inconvenient
- Won't have parties anymore
... Lauren
Because she:
- Is messy.
- Won't compromise.
- Uses subjective logic.
- likes sports
- Is insanely possessive of her things (aka thinks that, if someone is going to want to eat or use something, they should fucking buy one their own)
... Sarah
Because she:
- Listens to Ani and Orgy.
- Has strange misconceptions about privacy.
... Dicky
Because he:
- Uses the AC.
- Is messy.
- Is anti-social.
- Is a giant cockblock.
- Smokes.
- Drinks coffee.
- Makes decisions that affect the whole apartment without the consent of other roommates.
- No respect for personal space.
- Steals Jared's fan.
- Is an all around DICK.
- Jared wanted to re-arrange the room such that he could get to the windows easily. Dicky said no. Then it got really nice out and Dicky closed the windows so that the rain couldn't get to his bed. If he had just re-arranged the room like Jared suggested then they wouldn't have been in this mess.
- Maybe the room wouldn't smell and be stiflingly hot if you didn't always keep the door and windows closed you STUPID COCK.
- Doesn't recycle.
... Burns
Because he:
- Is a total asshole.
- Has loud parties with obnoxious fucking people the night before others must get up early and work.
- Has no convictions.
- Makes decisions that affect the whole apartment without the consent of other roommates.
- Gay.
... Jared
Because he:
- Is passive-aggresive.
- Has a short fuse.
- Hates anyone he doesn't know who comes to the apartment.
- sticks knifes to peoples throats
... Matt
Because he:
- Is bald(ing).
Because I'm:
- Just not fellin' it.
