Chicago Sarah
Broken up with Sarah
Her doppleganger, also named Sarah, can't stand her being a rich princess and is moving out.
"Needs her space"
On October 30, 2008, Sarah officially needed more space. Burns is officially single. They still plan to fuck whenever she comes to Boston, and talk online. It's as if nothing changed, but it's very emotional regardless.
Employed?!
Sarah has a job? Doing things she went to school for? And she's enjoying it?
Nonsense.
Chess Grandmaster
Not to be thwarted by Bobby Fischer and his confidence-busting quotes, Sarah is to be the next chess world champion. So far she has beaten Burns twice.
Drug-free
She went almost 24 hours without drugs. A recent, new record!
Almost Threesome
She went to a bar with Simon and Lauren, two of her classmates. After far-too-many (or not enough?) shots of Tequila they went back to Lauren's place. Kissing, groping, and nudity ensued, but Sarah decided that she didn't want to lose her threesome virginity to anyone except Burns.
Gaaaaay.
Last Night of Versionfest
She awoke in a hotel with Sarah F. They had crashed some touring band's room.
Perfectly Safe
"there's dry coke residue crusted to my nostril every morning, and i guess it finally broke through the skin"
I win!
2007-08-04: (22:46:07) Sarah Stambaugh: you were right
No Internet
"That cunt", her now-ex-roommate, took the cable modem while moving out, and shut off the Internet connection. This would be fine if everything wasn't in Sarah's name.
So, Sarah spent an hour yelling at "that fetid cunt" until she admitted to being passive-aggressive, gave back the cable modem, and also paid $10 for the trouble.
Insane Taping
She has tape on her floor. See, last summer her room was infested with ants, it was really hot out (it's summer, after all), and she was kinda seeing some insane heroin junkie, so she taped every hole in her room. She imagined some holes, too. Tape everywhere. It's still there.
Strip Black-Jack
She played strip black jack with some 14-year-old in Delaware.
http://profile.ak.facebook.com/profile5/1562/113/n1325940245_3142.jpg
On Fantasizing During Sex
"i don't really, but i tend to not be very creative about that kind of thing. when i masturbate, i don't even usually think of anything" - Sarah
(She wanted to be quoted on it.)
Pulled a Matt
She fell off on her first time riding a bike this season, landing on her un-helmeted head and shoulder. She did not immediately fall unconsious, but did vomit, feel dizzy, and fell unconscious within a few hours. She might have broken her shoulder, too.
I talked her into going to the hospital. Whew.
A Vincent Gallo fan, apparently
"when i was 16, i sent topless shots of myself to vincent gallo, since he requested them from his female fans on his website"
Movie Star
She was _the_ female character in the 24-minute film "Songs from the Shed". She's totally famous now.
Bipolar
She's totally nuts. She takes medication for it; this means that instead of thrashing about on the floor crying and breaking her fingers, she just cuts herself instead.
A Date!
Sarah has a movie date tonight with some guy named Ringo. Hopefully she gets laid.
Her Virginity
The story of her loss of virginity and gain of ice cream:
She was sitting on Newbury St., aged 16, when some kid on a skateboard offered to buy her some ice cream. He then invited her back to his place to watch skateboard videos. She pushed his advances off and left, but then went back for dessert the next day. He's going at it, and it hurt, so she said "Oh yeah, I'm a lesbian. Show me to the train please."
That's the last she saw of Luciano.
Fashion Model
She modeled conjoined twins clothing at a fashion show. She's a model now!
Show at her place
Her friend, D-d-d-d-david, threw a show at her place. She played and fucked it all up. Some people even (politely) clapped.
Bronchitis
She has bronchitis, again. She's taking the usual for it: McDonald's, weed, booze, coffee, etc.
Math
"[My professor] just explained lobachevsky's parallel theory, which i've been waiting all semester for"
You gotta lock that down.
Valentine's Day Gifts
"i want the machine that allows me to do things with no energy"
She wants a perpetual motion machine for next year's Valentine's Day. Or a car.
Her Role Model
"i'm about to make a new friend; courtney love's phone number is in my possession"
We'll see.
Shrooms
They're not treating her well---vomiting all day and the like. "Teaches me to eat poisonous fungus."
New Song Gone
She spent hours (like, half a day) working non-stop on a new song. Just before she sent the song to me, her computer crashed, losing the song.
Likely story.
It's probably in her Trash or some recovered files directory. Hopefully she finds it instead of killing herself.
Pro-Wrestling
She's discovered that pro-wrestling is just like celebrities, only more open and obvious.
Luca's Conflict
Her, her roommate Luca, and Eric Graff (OMG, he's famous!) are in a band named Luca's Conflict. They'll figure out a genre soon, but Eric sure can play a dropped D.
(They might instead form the industrial band Luka's Konflict.)
Driving is Hard
She was impatiently waiting to make a left turn out in Washington when she decided to go for it. Her mom had to drive her home after the collision.
Later, she was allowed to drive again but when she filled the tank it spilled over. Later she discovered that the fuel line was cut and any spark, such as from a collision, would ignite it. The car is dead now.
edit-this story is totally untrue. the "collision" went completely unnoticed (except by the passengers in my car), they didn't even pull over after me. it was only later that i discovered the broken fuel line.
post edit- anyone want a car?
So Fucking Punk Rock
She just quit playing in the middle of the "jam session", uttering nothing except that she "can't play this beat any longer, and can't play anything else either". That's so punk rock.
She then watched "My So Called Life".
A Funny Drunk, I Swear
Last night she got wasted, took off her shirt, took the mic from the band, and pulled a knife on the owner of the space. I don't know where the knife came from.
A Sell-out
She won't do drugs in case she can't go to work.
Lost Everything
Something happened to her laptop and she lost "everything". I'm not sure what that means, since she IMed me from her laptop to tell me this.
Regained Her Token Drug Addict Crown
She smoked pot in the bathroom at work.
Mattress
In August of 2005 Sarah was told to buy a mattress, and was given money by one of her loving, caring parents to buy one. She instead took the mattress from a fold-out bed.
However, she finally got not only a mattress, but also a bed, delivered, thanks to Luca. For cheap, even!
It's so comfortable that all she does is sleep. She slept through a meeting with a professor, for example.
Fruit
Sarah had to eat fruit every morning for breakfast. If she didn't eat it she'd be punished. As a result, Sarah doesn't like fruit. That means no passion fruit, oranges, apples, grapefruit---whole and segmented---pomegranates, greengages, grapes, lemons, plums, mangoes in syrup, cherries---red and black---and bananas.
She's a Crotchety Old Man
Her aspiration is to become a crotchety old man who complains about the heat. Despite her being a "man in spirit", she's 'not that kind of "man in spirit"'.
New Drumkit
The best drumset in Chicago is going to be in her apartment for storage, as soon as she gets a truck to transport it.
No More Drunkedness
She can no longer drink to excess. She's not sure why, but she ain't taking "getting old" as a reason.
New Band
She's in a new band with some friends. The band was originally called Dudes Being Dudes, but they might change the name to Constant Hands if she remains. They have a show while she will be in Boston, playing with Dewayne Slightweight.
At the first practice she played until her fingers bled.
Drum Machine
She made a drum machine for her robotics class. Her plan is to make it larger and more metallic, with animal skins draping off. There are currently two motors but she has plans to add two more.
It's programmed by writing timing functions for each motor and arranging them in order.
edit: it won't have animal skins "draping off," it will have the skins for drum heads. but now i'm down to the wire with 1 week to finish so i will probably use balloons or something. just trying to keep my news page (fan club) alive -chicago sarah
Her Dad
Her dad found out about MySpace; now he has an account. The best part: "Children: I don't want kids".
I added him as a friend.
Nick Cave's Son
She thinks she's found Nick Cave's son, Luke, on MySpace. She friended him of course and he's in her Top 8 (oooo!).
Her plan: use him to meet his dad (kinda like how everyone uses Sarah to meet her dad). Have him pay for the plane tickets because he's obviously rich.
One Fewer Friend
She's removed someone from her top 8 on MySpace. It wasn't me that she removed, fortunately. I don't know who it is.
She also talks to her apartment on MySpace. Yeah.
Mayor's Ball
She was to be the date for some Rich Guy to the mayor's ball (in Chicago, of course). The Rich Guy's original date canceled and she's a suitable replacement. She has the dress, but not the shoes, hair, or sleep.
However, the Rich Guy's original date called and uncanceled. Lame.
Jam Band on Video
Her current music video plan: record the jam band downstairs, then replace the audio with her music.
Lottery
She's addicted to the Lottery. It's better than cigarettes.
Gray Walls
She painted her walls gray.
Thanksgiving
She's coming to Boston from the 22nd to the 27th of November!
However, at the same time, Pere Ubu is playing with Mahjongg out in Chicago. So, if she comes she'll make whoever she's with feel guilty. She's trying to get out of it, but I doubt it'll work.
Apparently if she went to the Pere Ubu show she could hang out with them back stage. Sucks to miss that!
Suicide Girls
She's going to be a SG model, 'cause it pays.
Or, now that she actually has a chance, she decided not to.
Conceptual Art
It's the final stage of art, according to Her.
Circuits
Sarah's programming in C++ for a digital ciruits class, for which she skipped the intro. How much did she skip it? The first homework: here's a PCB with some LEDs; make them light up.
She's not dropping it.
Mike Burns
So this is what you fucking do all day?
-Jato
Yeah that's right. -Burns
